Step into an Apple Store with a computer question, and you'll notice that the Geniuses have a peculiar way of empathizing with your situation before selling you new products. A leaked Apple training manual, uncovered by Gizmodo on Tuesday, shows the company's idiosyncratic approach to sales.
Veteran Apple-watchers have often heard the phrase âReality Distortion Fieldâ applied to the company and its products. Itâs a tongue-in-cheek way of referring to the apparently magical sway that iPads and Macs hold over customers, and itâs never more apparent than when you walk into a gleaming Apple store. If youâve ever wondered how those blue-shirted Geniuses are so good at empathizing with you, then convincing you that you need a 17-inch Macbook Pro, you might be interested to learn that the Reality Distortion Field comes in book form.
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Jeff began writing for the Monitor's Horizons blog in 2011, covering product news and rumors, innovations from companies like Apple and Google, and developments in tech policy.
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On Tuesday Gizmodo revealed that it has a leaked copy of the Genius Student Training Workbook, Appleâs secret 14-day boot camp that mixes technical skills with self-help-style psychological tips designed to allow one to cheer up customers and solve Genius Bar confrontations.
It apparently leans pretty heavily toward the latter -- Gizmodo writer Sam Biddle says âalmost the entire volumeâ is dedicated to the psychology of sales. The manual, and the accompanying course, is designed to get trainees to embody the âGenius Actions and Characteristics,â which include graceful education and persuasive recommendation. A happy customer is one who will buy more products, after all.
The most interesting part of the manual is the list of words that Apple employees shouldnât say. Your computer didnât âbomb,â âcrash,â or âhang,â for example -- it âunexpectedly quitâ or âstopped responding.â And Geniuses arenât in the business of fixing âbugsâ -- theyâre responding to âconditionsâ or even to âsituations.â The manual also adds that an Apple product is never hot -- at most, itâs âwarm.â (Remember back in 2006, when Apple recalled all those batteries after two users got burned by their laptops? Those must have been pretty "warm.")
The Genius Workbook also gives black-belt level instructions in setting mistaken customers straight, without actually telling them theyâre mistaken. It all revolves around the phrase âturns out,â which makes it seem as though the customer and the Genius are stumbling upon the truth together. For example, if a customer mistakenly says, âThis OS isn't supported,â the manual recommends that the Genius respond with, âYou'd think not, wouldn't you. Turns out it is supported in this version.â
If the volume has a dark side, itâs the prohibition on sympathy. Geniuses arenât allowed to apologize directly to customers, even when Apple technology is at fault. At best, Gizmodo tells us, they can use phrases like âIâm sorry youâre feeling upsetâ or âsorry about your soda-spill accidentâ -- which seems like it would be cold comfort to someone who just lost a bunch of data to a hard drive crash (or, to put it in Genius terms, whose hard drive has âstopped respondingâ). But as VentureBeat points out, Apple retail stores made $4.1 billion last quarter -- and people wouldnât keep shopping there if they didnât feel respected by the staff.
Readers, what do you think about the manual? Does it strike you as an effective way to build rapport with customers? Does it creep you out? Let us know in the comments section below.
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